Rating: 3/10

The careers of Kim Basinger and Val Kilmer collided in this disastrous bank robbery thriller/comedy/drama/whatever. Basinger plays Karen McCoy a pro bank robber who looks awesome, but got busted because of bad blood with bad guy Jack Schmidt (Terrence Stamp). Kilmer is J.T. Barker, a foppish, wannabee robber.

McCoy has just served 6 years in the joint and wants nothing more to go straight and to get to know her son. Unfortunately, her past catches up with her. It doesn’t help that she can’t find work and that her crooked parole officer is trying to reconnect her with bad guy Schmidt. She doesn’t want to get back to her old ways, but Schmidt does something really bad and she just, like, has to, you know? Sorry, but it’s obvious from miles off.

“The Real McCoy” devolves into a massive heist which attempts to be really clever, but is just not all that entertaining. Sure, we see how difficult it is to get into said vault, but it seems like it takes director Russell Mulcahy half of the film to show us. All in all, a very average heist.

A few other bones to pick. Terrence Stamp with a southern accent? I mean, (in Southern accent) c’mon. Stamp is a good actor, but don’t make the guy fake a southern accent. Also, what a waste of Val Kilmer. He’s reduced to a skin-deep goofball, when we know he could do so much more. On a positive note, Basinger looks great, in spite of stupid looking outfits, but that really is no reason to see a movie.

Filed under: 1993 by A.B.